So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Fuck appropriateness.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
