I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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