There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I think i got beer on your cat.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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