is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
my nose is crying tears of wow.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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