somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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