So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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