im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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