Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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