Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize