He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
