Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
