so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
