So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
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I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
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WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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