I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
