i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
