He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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