remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
