ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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