I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You don't make any sense
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Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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