I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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