ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
