You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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