Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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