We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
