I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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