Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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