I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
