Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Did you pee in the oven last night??
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
