I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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