no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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