Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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