the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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