we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
