apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
