I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
