some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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