For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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