No awkward lesbian experiences without me
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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