Your tits are I can't wait for
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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