Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He is an equal opportunity slut.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
