at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
