I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
