I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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