You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
