can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
