i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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