There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
