She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
