and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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