no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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