Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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