I must be too annoying 4 u.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
