oh god the rape fog is back!
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
