this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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