i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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