you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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